day two :)

I never knew I could be so instantly in love. I was told it didn't happen for some people and not to worry if it took longer to bond, well..we haven't been able to bond per say but that doesn't stop me from being totally and completely smitten with her. Today went very well! Ben and I went down to the NICU for about two hours for a visit this morning and spoke with a neurologists and went over MRI results. The cele was mostly fluid as we've been told, there were no major veins involved which was great news for surgery. They did find that her hemispheres seemed to be fused together instead of separate sides but as far as what that means for the future, who knows? Doctors can speculate and give me all of their best guesses but in the end they are as good as mine. No one knows what the future will hold but God and so far, He seems to be on our side :) Benjamin and I will do whatever it takes and works with her as much as we need to ensure she a healthy happy life and that's all we can do. Speaking of Benjamin, he is SUCH a great daddy already. His face just lights up when he talks about her and his favorite chubby cheeks of hers. He is by her side whenever he can be and has been so wonderful to me. I love him in a such a different way I didn't even know existed until now. It's pretty amazing and I can't wait to be home with him and Naysa and really begin our new life. So, onto the surgery! It went VERY well!! I am so so thankful for the surgeon we had and all of support Naysa has all over the world. She did well and it only took about 30 mins! I've checked on her twice tonight, well this morning. She is doing well and is waking up just fine :) She is still on the ventilator until she fully wakes up and then she should finally be able to eat! I got a little discouraged today with pumping when I wasn't producing but a few drops, don't worry I didn't give up though! I've been hydrating and massaging and this past time I pumped (about an hour ago) I got a full 5ml! It would have been more but I'm awesome and spilled some on my shirt :-/ If this is the best thing I can do for that little lovie then I shall do it with persistence. She is so strong and has already been through so much, she will get only the best food nature can offer! I think that's all the update for now, unless you care that she had her first poopy diaper early this morning lol. Well, I do...oh how priorities change :p