R.I.P Samuel

Yesterday got busy rather quickly so I didn't get to write like I had planned, sorry if I worried anyone! The bug is doing as wonderful as ever, though I am sad to report that is not the case for a fellow cele baby. If you recall, Monday I asked for a mom to be kept in thoughts and prayers as she prepared to welcome her son into the world. Monday morning Samuel was born and spent a precious two hours with his family before receiving his wings. Every time one of our babies loses their battle, I take it to heart. I don't want to imagine what the families go through. I say don't instead of can't because as you know, we've come all too close. We've been so lucky, so blessed. The complete and utter devastation of feeling your newborns body grow limp in your arms, to see the light fade from their eyes...I can literally feel my heart break. When Naysa was born she didn't cry right away, a woman told us the cele was bigger than they thought and said "sorry.." The way you say sorry to someone who is grieving. She made me think my baby wasn't going to make it, that she was already gone. At a moment of what should have been pure bliss, it was panic and fear. I don't believe I will never be able to express the roller coaster of emotions my life has been since that 20 week ultrasound. We are quickly approaching the one year anniversary of that day and I'm not quite sure how I will react. I had so much more I wanted to say today but I will have to come back to it tonight, Naysa is yelling at me :p