"I'm the king of this pity party, with my jewel encrested crown. "

Today was a nice break from the usual routines of our day & have Naysa's first "playdate". A friend of mine came over with her adorable daughter who is a week old or so older than Naysa. It was so funny to see them interact and stare at each other. Haylee was babbling at her and Naysa was being distracted by the colors of the TV, haha. My friend had a bumbo and was nice enough to bring it over for us to borrow and hopefully work on strengthening Naysa's neck muscles. She sits in it with her head back like she still thinks it weighs a lot, I guess she hasn't really adjusted to not having over and ounce of extra fluid. She has PT this Friday so we will bring it with and see what the therapist thinks. We are still having a hit or miss with tummy time, either she is fine with it and falls asleep or she hates it and yells at me to get her off. It was nice to have a mommy friend to talk about baby things with and not feel like you are be annoying, lol. Though Haylee is only a week older than Naysa they seemed so much further apart. It was kind of sad to see her able to hold herself up and do all of the things an almost 4 month old should and realizing how far behind Naysa is. It's like she's still a newborn almost. Sure she babbles and wiggles but so does a one month old. She isn't able to hold her weight on her legs which I guess is my fault since I didn't know this was an okay age for her to do that so I haven't been holding her appropriately. She can't lift her head from tummy time or hold herself up on her arms for a second. I know I shouldn't focus on the things she can't do but it does get the better of me sometimes..how could it not? Naysa is amazing and with a lot of help maybe she can catch up but right now, tonight I'm feeling sad. I'm not looking for anyone to tell me it's going to be okay and that she is amazing the way she is because I know all of that. With all I've been through since November 9th, 2010 I am allowed, hell ENTITLED to have myself a night or two of sadness. I just really hope everyone with a child that reads this really takes a moment to be thankful for their healthy family. Do not take their health for granted. If they bump their heads, be thankful they have a skull to protect it. If they are sleepy one day be thankful you don't have to take them to the hospital because lethargy is a bad sign for them. I pray no one I know has to go through something like this but if you do, I'm here. I've been there, I am there and I will be there. Faith, I hope this doesn't make you feel bad..that was not my intent at all. I loved hanging out with you and Hay today and hope we can do it more, it was just my first time really being around another baby Naysa's age and I am having myself a little pity party of why's and what if's. I am going to finish up this glass of wine, have a bath and call it a night. Tomorrow is a new day and I'll get over it.