keeping hope alive

Today did not bring good news. The encephalocele was confirmed and more tests are on the way. According to the ultrasound the encephalocele is about an inch in diameter and we will know more on the severity after the MRI. The ultrasound tech we had was great though, so that made it a little more pleasant..well, as pleasant as something like this can be. We did however learn that we are having a baby girl! :) Her name is Naysa Diane Qilue Page! The name Diane is in memory of my Aunt Shelly who passed away when she was 6. Her middle name, Qilue is pronounced Key-lew-eh. We also got some good pictures of her with the 4d ultrasound, and you can see her little face with a smile and her arm over her head. We spoke with a specialist who, in my opinion, had zero people skills. He was extremely blunt, and that's perfectly fine..IF you aren't in the business of fetal diagnostic medicine. He told us, and I quote "Your baby will die." He gave us the option of termination and that was a big absolutely NOT! I just saw this little angel's face, she smiled and wiggled and there is no way in hell we would even consider that. First hearing all of this, I was numb. I tried to concentrate on what he was saying but my mind was racing. After we got out of the hospital and walked out into the sun and beautiful day, though my heart was heavy I was strangely at peace. I know we are giving this little girl everything we can and she deserves the chance to fight. She has been so strong thus far and I can't imagine ever giving up on her. Whether she passes in utero, stillborn or we are blessed enough to hold her for a few hours after birth, this is all in God's hands and who am I, who are any of us to deny her the chance? I will continue this pregnancy like normal and pray for the best. Benjamin and I are so blessed to have the friends and family we do, especially grateful my parents are here for extra support. Thank you to everyone for the love and support and please continue the prayers.