*sigh*

Ah, the emotional roller coaster that is being a special needs parent. One day you're positive and optimistic, the next you're drowning in self pity and nothing you do can shake the crippling depression. I was in Target last night with my girl and after shopping around for her, we went to the toy section to see if we could find something for her little friend Haylee who hasn't been feeling well. As we strolled the isles I realized I was looking for the age range on each toy and I had no idea what a typical 18 month old would like. Naysa still loves the toys she's had since she was born, the rattles and 0-6 month toys. As this realization hit me and I began to tear up, our shopping cart found itself abandoned in home goods as we headed for the car. I strapped my beautiful girl in her car seat, she smiled and I cried. The next day we had ABM and she did so well! The self pity and gloom from the day before faded as I watched the bug initiate sitting up, she actually put her arm on the mat and pushed up! We both have a long road ahead and she is so determined, I'm just glad she doesn't realize what's happening when I have days like that. I never want her to see me cry and think it's because I wish she was different or "normal" I just want her to have it all it's frustrating that she doesn't because she is so deserving. It seems this entry is leaning towards a rant so I shall end it here. I'm going to go snuggle up with my miracle and appreciate the mere fact that she is HERE!