Halloween

When a woman becomes pregnant, she instantly falls in love, has a million hopes and dreams for her growing baby and daydreams about the future. Here we are, Naysa's second Halloween and another year of my dreams crushed. By this time I had hopes of walking around the neighborhood with a wobbly toddler by my side, laughing every time she tried to say "trick or treat." This is the second year in a row we will be staying in to hand out candy. I can't bring myself to take her out just to be pushed in the stroller and have no idea what's going on, not able to eat any of the candy. Her therapy schedule has been so stop and go lately and I fear it's taking a toll on her progress. I REALLY would like to see her mobile by Christmas and at this rate, I don't think that is going to happen. I find myself less patient with her the past few days, getting frustrated because of what she can't do then feeling such a stinging guilt because it's not her fault. I know she is frustrated too and it breaks my heart that she can't just TELL me that. We went costume shopping the other day and left empty handed...I tried to have fun and play with her, asking which one while holding up two and when she didn't even look my way I left in tears thinking 'what's the point.' I really hope this new year holds something better for us.

(Naysa at her Infantino photo shoot for Everybody Plays Campaign, to be launched in 2013)