Happy FIRST Birthday, Naysa Diane!

One Year. One hell of a year! On this day last year I was 40 pounds heavier about to topple over with a HUGE belly containing very precious cargo. My parents, my husband and I woke up at 6am to go to the hospital and welcome Naysa. No one spoke in the car, we all reflected on the past few months, daydreamed and prayed. What should have been the most exciting day of our lives was the most terrifying. I begged God to just let my baby live, I made promises to be a better person and a million other things I don't even recall. I just wanted to hear her cry when they took her out. The wait for my c-section seemed eternal. Finally they took me back for the spinal and to begin the operation. I kissed my parents and said a prayer. Benjamin joined me in the O.R and at 9:22am she arrived! She cried right off the bat and I cried, she was alive!! Ben was able to hold her for a few minutes before they rushed her off to the NICU, it would be two days before I saw her again. Seeing the encephalocele in person brought so many mixed emotions. This ball looking thing attached to my newborns head had instilled such fear in me, such anger and sadness. And there it was...it wasn't nearly as scary as I had imagined and with it containing such a small amount of brain I felt a sense of triumph. We had won! She was beautiful, she was breathing. Ten little fingers and ten little toes :) They removed the encephalocele second day of life and I was finally feeling well enough to visit my newly arrived miracle. Being a new parent is such an incredibly overwhelming feeling let alone being the new parent to a NICU baby. I called to check on her just about every hour and prayed there was no bad news. I sat in her room for hours just watching her sleep, being so thankful each time her chest rose and fell. We were told she would never do this, never do that...yet here we are. A year later and she IS doing this and doing that. She may be delayed but she is far from the 'vegetable' they told us she would be. I am so in love with this little girl and can't believe how blessed we've been. I am in awe of her everyday and can't wait to see what this next year has in store. Happy First Birthday my love! I know daddy can't be here to celebrate but know he loves you more than life itself and will more than make up for missing it when he comes home :) You are so loved and special to everyone who knows of you.